Monday, July 9, 2012



“You asked, ‘Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?’
    It is I—and I was talking about things I knew nothing about,
    things far too wonderful for me.” ~Job 42:3

My husband is an enigma. Come to think of it, so is every other man I have ever known. They all seem to share one character trait that has always baffled me.
No matter how much they love God, their wives, their children and their country, when they get around their buddies—and I mean their closest pals—they absolutely LOVE to insult each other.
Now in general, if they are Christians, these insults are G-rated. But they are insults nonetheless and the more intimate these men are in their relationships the more they seem to delight in insulting each other!  
My husband will actually fantasize about how he is going to insult someone he dearly loves. On Facebook I have to watch this man like a hawk because we have a shared page and if he does not put his name beside the comment, someone might assume that I’ve made the remark!

Two of our young married nieces are having a running debate about whose husband is the hottest guy from their county. This has inspired a whirlwind of insulting comments in Mark’s soul! His eyes are positively gleaming as he dreams them up.

 I cautioned him to think before posting anything: “Is it Kind, Is it Helpful, Is it Encouraging?”
Such wifely wisdom was met with the blank stare that gave me to realize that he’d pressed his built in “ignore button;” the one all husbands come pre-loaded with once they’ve signed the marriage contract.

One niece has made a Facebook fan page for a Prized Pig named Mister Pickles. My husband could not wait to compare the "Hottie Husbands" with the Prized Pig!
Have mercy!  I insisted he make it perfectly clear in the comment section that Uncle Mark was making that comparison!

“Oh, Honey, they’ll know it’s me” he grinned—“because I never end MY comments with any of those silly emoticons.”
Every wife comes pre-loaded with certain buttons that a husband learns through trial and error not to push if he wants to maintain peaceful vibes. Mark could tell by my icy stare that he’d just pushed one of those buttons.
A smile, a hug, “Why look, Honey—I’ve added my name, I was just teasing!”

 Of course, he’s also just teasing our nieces about their hubbies and they know it, for all three immediately “liked” his comments; but I worry all the time about my words and how they might affect someone.
The bible says death and life are in the power of the tongue. That is an awesome verse to ponder.
On the other hand, Mark is lighthearted and has fun all the time.

When he and his friends insult each other they remind me of puppies who rumble and tumble all over each other, barking and nipping. Then they settle down, give each high fives or pat each other on the back, like puppies who cuddle after a rough play as if to say, “Aw, you know I really love you!”  
They do not think of scriptures that haunt one’s conscience about the mighty power of the tongue.
Their spirits seem made of glass so that the insults they make over each other have no power to sink in and cause death—they just slide right off. 

Which makes me believe that the spirit in which we speak any negative words surely makes a huge impact on a person’s vulnerability to its destructive forces.
There is also that factor of the condition of the person’s own soul.
And this is something we can never rightly know.
Only God can see into the heart of someone.  We might say something in fun, and the other person could receive it in totally the opposite way we intended. 
Maybe this is why men seem only to insult their closest kin and buddies-- People they feel completely safe with.

 God has made each of us so unique.
Why do so many men love to insult each other? Why do they love contact sports? The more dangerous and physical, the better!
It’s almost as if they delight in being hurt. I asked my son this once after he came home with multiple wounds from playing soccer and basketball. “Why do you keep playing?”
“Because it’s fun!” was his immediate response.  
How can getting torn ligaments, multiple bruises and sprains be fun, I want to know? Men baffle me!

I don’t think men are ever going to stop insulting each other—it’s part of their makeup.  
In fact, when I asked a male friend about this trait, he said, “It’s part of being a man.” 
They’ll do it then laugh like crazy at who can top whom with the worst insult.

Sometimes love does not look the way we expect it to look. It is not always warm and fuzzy, pretty or even romantic. Sometimes it looks like a mean old insult like when guys who are really close friends rag on each other.

Sometimes love looks really bloody and violent. Like when God came down and took on the form of a human in the person of Jesus Christ, allowing Himself to become a sacrifice for our sins on the cross at Calvary. 
He allowed Himself to be insulted, spit upon, beaten, bruised beyond recognition and all because He loved us so much that He wanted to reconcile us—lost sinners—back to Himself. (John 3:16)
In his excellent biography of the life of Jesus Christ, author Charles Swindoll, says that the heart of Jesus literally burst when He died on the cross bearing our sins. That is not a pretty picture, is it? 
But that is how much our God loved every single person He ever created. For as His heart burst open on the cross He was thinking of you and me. He was hoping we would receive Him into our hearts someday. That broken heart of God's Son is what it cost Him to redeem us back to Himself, to forgive our sins.

Prayer: God, You are love. And you have made us in Your holy image. Love doesn’t always look the way we think it should look. May we learn to recognize love in its many forms and not be quick to judge what is or is not love based on appearances. May we receive You into our hearts by faith. In Jesus’ name.

 "Why Do Guys Love Insults?" © 2012  Suzanne Davis Harden All Rights Reserved. Unto The Least Of These


  1. Replies
    1. Thank you, Denise! May the Lord bless you with a wonderful week. You are Christ's Treasure and a beautiful Blessing. Hugs :)

  2. I can so relate to this, Suzanne! My hubby loves to do this -- even to me -- in public, and insists everyone will know it's a joke! He is the kindest guy in the world,so he's probably right, but I still worry that people will take him the wrong way! The tongue has such power to heal, to uplift, or to hurt, that we are wise to watch our words.
    Thanks so much for visiting and commenting on Saved by Grace!
    Your blog is a blessing and I am now following it, and I invite you to follow Saved by Grace also:
    Love in Him,
    Laurie Collett

    1. Thanks so much for the feedback and for following my blog, Laurie! I stumbled upon your blog the other day and I just LOVE it! Your messages bless me so much and I'm definately following you now! May the Lord continue to bless you as you minister to others through your devotional writing, dancing, and singing/songwriting gifts He's blessed you with! In Christ's love, Suzanne :-)

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Guys - they're so weird! But then, I'm sure they think the same thing about us. Fortunately, God knew exactly what He was doing when He made us so different. We compliment one another perfectly. Good post, Suzanne. This is my first visit to your blog, but you can be sure I'll be back!

    Jan - Fellowship of Christian Bloggers

  4. Thanks so much, Jan, for visiting my blog and for your wonderful, insightful comment about men! I can't wait to visit your blog and be encouraged by your messages of hope and inspiration~ May the Lord bless and encourage you this week in all you do and surround you with His holy favor as a shield. ~Suzanne :)

  5. I love the three questions you ask before speaking. What a wonderful guideline. God has much to teach us in His Word about our tongue. While the guy's teasing may be harmless so many times our words carry an intended barb. Your caution is valuable.

  6. Thanks for your comment, Pamela! It's so true; our words can have a tremendous impact on someone else's life and we need to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. You are so wise-I value your input. May the Lord bless you with rivers of His love & joy today! :)


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